I need a worry box

There has been a feeling of abject worry and helplessness floating around.  In the past few days I've felt this way because I've been unable to help someone.  It's very frustrating to sit on the side and worry and think and wonder.  Are they sad? or angry? or frustrated?  There is very little I can do but send up a prayer and even God knows I'm really not very good at that.

You see, I'm a worrier.  I worry about everything and everyone.  I can guarantee if I've ever claimed you as a friend and you are going through a rough time, I've worried for you.  That leads to a lot of worry that really has no place to go and it sits inside me.  You could think of me as a Worry Eater.  If you have a worry, feed it to me and I'll take it up and stick inside and fester over it for days.

By all means, its not healthy in the slightest.  I love it when I come across a blog that has a Confessions (such as over at Scary Mommy) and you can just dump all your troubles.  It really does make you feel better when you regurgitate everything inside to someone else.  Even if they have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm a night regurgitater.  At night before I can fall asleep, I have to talk.  This usually lasts ten to twenty minutes and generally the response from CP is snoring.  It's okay, I don't mind it.  It's not so much always about someone hearing and responding.  Sometimes I just need to throw it out there and say it.  Out loud.

I'm seriously considering buying a box that I can open up and spill all the worry into and the things in my head that keep me up at night.  Then when I've gotten it all out, I could close the box, put it back on the shelf and wait until the next day I need it.

Are you a worrier?  What do you do to release your troubles?

Dirty Talk

Let's talk dirty.  Cause this is something that's making me unbelievably crazy.

This is the detergent I use.  Cheer Dye Free, Sensitive Skin detergent. (Come on, what did you really think I was going to talk about?)  I've been using some form of Cheer forever because every other brand I've tried - Tide Free, Sun, Ultra, whatever else is out there - always makes my skin itch, gives me hives and bumps on my body.

It's highly attractive.

Lately though, even Cheer is causing me to be constantly scratching my back and arms and legs like a mad-woman.  I can't stand it.  I've switched out the soap I use in the shower, I've started wearing unscented lotion.  I'm still itching!

The final conclusion I can make is that it's either my water (which is in all realm of reality probably the problem.  Have you smelled the water that comes out of the tap in Kentucky?  That's just nasty.  I certainly don't drink it but unless I'm going to use bottled water to shower, it's going to have to touch my skin.)

Or the problem is my detergent.

So I'm asking, no begging all of you, to tell me what detergent you use.  Does anyone have sensitive skin in your family? Should I go with a more organic/green choice?  Will that make a difference?

HELP!

Out of the Box: Life, Fish, Books and Random

In recent weeks I could name any number of things that have kept me out of the blog world.  The following is very random but also very much the way my brain is working at present.

*Chick's fish took a turn for the worst when his fin fell off, thereby giving us the final reason to commit him to Fishy Heaven.  He has since been replaced by Prince and Princess and a pink castle in the fishbowl.

*I've watched a million and one episodes of Angelina Ballerina (whom I am starting to loathe) and I feel like I've done nothing but dash from one sick child to another and back round again.

*I've also been working on adding a new section to the blog about cooking because I am obsessed with cooking and eating these days.

*Over the weekend CP and I pulled out some boxes from the basement in our never ending task to declutter, and I discovered my high school yearbooks.  Egads.  You gotta love the styles of the early 90's.

In these boxes I also found books, books and more books.  You have to know me to know how much I love books.  My fondest wish is to get trapped inside a bookstore overnight (or for days at a time is fine too).  I love books.  All kinds of books.  Some of my favorites used to be listed in the sidebar, I might have to add them again.  I'm currently reading How To Be Good; The Night Train To Lisbon (which I've been reading for upwards of a year, it's just kind of intense and taking me forever in stops and starts); War and Peace (which I promised myself a year ago I'd read in the span of a year.  I'm on page 5...); Anna Karenina; My Life In France, The House of Mondavi and I just started Gone With The Wind.

Yes, I am reading them all at the same time.  It's just the way I am.  I once labeled myself as having book adhd and that is obviously still true.

There were also old cd's (and scarily cassette tapes!!) in the box.  Sunset Boulevard; Ricky Martin; Les Miserables; and Jimmy Buffet.  I guess my music tastes then and now are still eclectic.  (For the record, I got rid of the Ricky Martin.)  I found a disc labeled My Novel which I have yet to take a look at because I can't even imagine how old this must be.  If there's one thing I do know it's that my writing only gets better with age and what's on that cd could be truly frightening.

But it has spurred to realize I've been neglecting writing in general.  All the ideas are sitting up in my brain but I'm just not letting them out.  So I've taken to scheduling my days.  A literal blueprint to each day highlighted by hour on my beloved whiteboard.  Thus far, I've managed to follow the schedule once out of a week's worth of trying but that is progress at least.  A step in the right direction.

The other thing I'm looking forward to is Spring.  As in warmer weather and no snow days and ice and dreary cloudy skies.  I think is the real culprit in my lack of desire to actually do anything these days.  It's too cold, and too depressing outside.  I recently bought a print entitled House of Usher from Kevin of Irish Gumbo and Oncatography fame.  I'm thinking it's time to put that photo front and center.  It's an inspiring, lonely and intriguing picture. Inspiration was the reason I wanted to buy the picture in the first place.  I stared at it and thought there was just something about it that made me want to write or create or do.

So I will.

Have you felt overwhelmed by life and the winter blues of late?  Do you have anything that's inspiring you?


*If you haven't checked out Oncatography, Go!  Do it! Now!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: About a boy named Thor

Today is Thor's 9th birthday.  It's also Random Tuesday Thoughts day with Keely.  Link up at The UnMom and join the fun.

I decided today should be dedicated to Random Pictures about Thor.  So let's start with my all time favorite picture:



This is Thor at age one.  He looked like this in other incarnations: (Keep in mind I didn't have a digital camera when he was born, this was nine whole years ago, so pictures start at about 2 years old.  These are up to 4 years old.)

 Helping around the house (apparently keeping bike helmets in the kitchen is a learned behavior, his sister also does this...)

 First day of preschool

 Third birthday

 Swinging 

 I don't know why I'm laughing either!

 Listening to music

 The BEACH!

 Ah, trains

 First Halloween at age 3

 Cookies with mom

 It's true.  Mom CAN'T bake!

 Why mom, why?

 First ice cream cone at age 3

(he hated sweets until then!)

 Um, the cat did it?  We have a cat right?

 Blue eyes, here I am.

 Breakfast

Happy Birthday to the most beautiful sweet boy on the planet.  I love you very much!  (Tomorrow I may post even more pictures ages four through nine, though he's grown considerably camera shy as he's aged!)